The Squirrel Story

So the other night I get a call about midnight from a girl telling me about this squirrel in her living room and wants me to get it out. Why she asked me I still don't know. I gather some fish nets and buckets and head over there. What I find when I get there is this tiny little flying squirrel. It looked innocent and harmless so I put on some gloves and grabbed it. Easy enough I though. It proceeded to bite on the gloves like it was trying to take some fingers off. I had to drop it because I wasn't prepared for that and it ran all around while I chased it. Finally got it cornered and when it looked up at me all innocent again I thought I could pick it up again run to the door and throw it out. Didn't work like that. I picked it up, it got loose, couldn't catch it in the bucket and was too small for the fish net, this went on forever. I saw it in the corner and dove straight for it like a head first slide into 2nd base and it jumped onto my face and tried to go down the neck of my shirt. I was rolling all around because these things can bite to the bone with those sharp teeth. Needless to say it got away again. We searched for it forever and then I found it, picked it up and it started clawing at my arm so I yelled CRAP and flung it across the room. All she heard was my yelling and when she looked up she saw it gliding across the living room and me jumping up and down, she laughed so hard she had to go change clothes because she pee'd a little in all of the hysteria. My stomach is still sore from laughing so hard.

I finally got wise and opened the back door and used a broom to force it out. Should have done that in the first place and saved an hour of chasing. I am now a qualified squirrel trapper at your service. The end.