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Did I go somewhere? Guess who's back, back again, Retnuh's back. Tell a friend. Retnuh's
back Retnuh's back.
Did you notice someone else posted here instead of me? Yeah that's a first, I had to take a break for the first time in 2 years, I deserve it. Turns out it was a bad thing because some people got pissed off over the name calling and what he said in his updates. I didn't see anything wrong with it other than the fact that it was boring, but maybe thats just my short attention span talking. This is starting to feel boring too. Gotta do something about it quick. Lets find some humor links to click on
Humor Hot line...Can you hold please? Hello, it's me again. I got bored, and decided to try and write another
update for Hunter. I'll try to make this one less of a "personal rant"
like the last one. That one got me in some shit. Crazy how many IMs I
got. Dazza even went and locked my CFUS account. He should be thanking
me though, I did send him some hits. Anyways, I'm going to break away
from this one now.
Dead Wrong The views expressed in this post are in no way affiliated
with Hunter, or any thing else on this site. I am going to rant about a "superior" website. Again, my opinions
are not affiliated with Hunter, or anyone else on this site. CrazyFuckedUpShit.
A highly known webmaster forum. Lots of members, lots of traffic, well
respected throughout the community. Mainly targeted at E/N websites. Well,
I've been a member of this "online community" for quite a while
now. One of the original members. Well known throughout the forums, a
regular poster, and I provide useful information every now and then. Well,
I jump on the IRC chat room to go hang out, and what respect do I get?
NONE. I am treated like absolute shit, from such webmasters as Trace and
RevSandman. What did I do? Not a damn thing. So I confront Dazza about
the problem (Dazza is the owner of CFUS), and he has no support what so
ever. Doesn't even care. I guess with popularity comes the stick up your
ass, like always. But then again, this is just pointless bantering, and
you probably didn't come here to see what I had to say anyways. Links to other e/n type sites -esc July 1
That thang got a hemi? Sorry that I haven't updated lately but I've been working extremely long hours, some days up to 18 hours. The bags under my eyes have their own sets of bags under them. I just want to sleep for at least 3 days straight without waking up. That's not gonna happen. Wonder if you can freebase coffee?
I really haven't even had time to find some links for you to click on.
Let's see whats in the grab bag this week.
It's weird how tornados work. They can toss your car down the road, take half your house, throw the fridge a couple hundred yards, but leave salt and pepper shakers sitting on the table. I don't get it. They said that about 225 homes and dozens of businesses were destroyed and about 250 more damaged all with winds over 200mph. It was scary for a while, I was in the corner with a mattress over me thinking that this was it...I am dead. But here I am, ready to dish out another smut filled update...well sorta. Smut links:
Easily Amused?
When is the Saddam made for TV movie coming out? Have you ever noticed that in languages other than English, peoples names have meanings? Even though my name is a regular word and has a definition in the dictionary that is not normal for most peoples names. You hear on TV a foreign name and then they say... which mean "glorious past" or "one who humps trees" or something. Why don't we have that? We don't need no stinkin' name definitions do we. ? Nope I woke up at 4am Tuesday morning and my whole room was shaking. I was thinking this is one helluva weird dream but then the next morning I heard on the news that it was an earthquake. We don't have earthquakes here. The last time we had one, it temporarily rerouted a huge river and made a 15,000 acre lake. I haven't been swimming in a while. You've got to see
these coming by now.
Continued Rambling I'm curious, if someone was to cut your tongue out and you were constantly swallowing the blood, what would you die from? Would it be from loss of blood even though technically the blood is still inside you, or from so much blood in your stomach that it poisoned you, or would you die from drowning? Don't try this at home folks, but if you must, let me know what you died from ok. Rant:
Oh man, I finally got my taxes finished 3 hours before midnight on the 15th. This was the first year I had to actually pay. I'm broke now but what can ya do, sucks to be me. News and stuff:
Nothing Exciting
Funny political pictures of Saddam and Bush. This was emailed to me (thanks mom). If you've already seen it, so what
read it again. On to the nudie links now.
Ass Cracks and Protective Masks
Need a chemical
suit?
Is Everyone Crazy?
I've been watching news about the war so much that I've got satellite reporter lag. When someone asks me a question now I stare at them like an idiot for 5 seconds before I respond. If Iraq has a Ba'ath party, why do they look so dirty? I've also watched lots of clips from foreign news stations and those people are so misinformed it's pathetic. I get outraged and want to find these people and scream into their empty heads...Are You Really That Stupid!? But then they would use their children as human shields and say that I had targeted them because they are civilians and that I tried to occupy their bodies and take control of their bowel movements. Some of these reporter chicks are kind of hot. Like Fox news' Laurie Dhue and her thick neck to the strange milf type sexiness of Christiane Amanpour (I just like saying her name) I think it's her accent, she could be a transvestite though for all I know. Sexy
nature
People Are Stupid
In other new, about 4 months ago I bought a whole box of cheap frozen burritos, mistake #1. I ate those things for breakfast lunch and dinner until every one of them were gone, mistake #2. As a result, I have farted every 10 minutes for the past 4 months. Not just everyday farts either, no no, these will embed theirself in fabric and stain the walls with the odor of a decaying flesh, that's on a good day too. You don't even want to know about the bad days. Do you want to boycott French products? Or maybe you want to boycott
American products? Either way go here howtobuyamerican.
Operation Wacky Iraqi - Feud With The Baghdude
Kuwait
siren log. My internet might as well have been out for the past few days cause I've been glued to the tv like white on rice, unless you are thinking of brown rice which would end up making no sense. You gotta focus people, focus. If you didn't notice, no pron in this update. Who has time for it when
there is a live war on tv? Maybe we shouldn't call it a war because it's
really unlike any other in history. We should call it Operation Wacky
Iraqi - Feud with the Baghdude.
Beef
I'm trying to create a new law to help defend southerners. Lots of boobies.
So-damn Insane
I have been thinking a lot about the war with Iraq. You can read that here. Maybe we should cover Iraq with pavement and turn it into a huge mall for all the world. We can rename it, The Gap.
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I
know you don't care about my personal stuff but I'm forcing it on you.
Ok, so I finally got a break from working so much and I had to go to the
dentist. I'd rather work 24 hours a day than go to the dentist. They scare
the crap outta me. The guy has a tray with tools of death on it and totally
violated my mouth. The whole time I'm screaming in my head for him to
stop but it goes on forever. Just when you think it's over...it's not.
I think dentists are freaks who get to wear a white coat and charge you
for inflicting pain. I wanted to meet him in the parking lot later and
be like.. hey give me $200 cause I'm about to hit you with a bat. They
should change their name to Dr. mouth violator pain inflictor man. 
Several
tornadoes hit where I live again. This time it went straight through the
center of downtown turning it into rubble. My county has been on a 7pm-7am
curfew and no one is allowed downtown because the law enforcement complex
was wiped out including all their communications and looting is a threat.
They are issuing heavy fines for even trying to get into downtown. The
main post office was destroyed so I don't know what to do about the mail.
About 2/3rds of the city is without power and the water is contaminated
so they put most everyone on a "boil water alert". How are you
going to boil water if you have no electricity? Luckily I have had power
and clean water the whole time. I got out and did the rubbernecking and
everywhere you look everywhere you go something is broken or crushed or
flipped over or just not there anymore. The news said that it looks like
downtown Baghdad. 
The
other night I heard monkey noises coming out of my back yard. I went out
and listened and I swear there was a monkey or chimp or something somewhere
in my yard. I took my flashlight and looked around but couldn't find it.
I kept on thinking about the movie Outbreak and how people died from it
and how they were about to bomb the whole city to get rid of it's diseases,
no good. It stopped making noises so I went back inside. The next morning
I find a box in my front yard, 
If you
ever need your funiture moved, call the Iraqi's. They work in large groups
and can empty your house in less than an hour! They tend to be a little
careless at times but I'm sure you won't mind a few scratches or holes
after you see how fast they work. They may throw some stuff out the window
and rip up pictures they don't like but I bet they will be happy to help
you fix it.
I've
got a beef with the so called "reality tv" shows, especially
the ones that are about marriage or about finding someone to date. All
the people on these shows are nice looking and are trying to find other
nice looking people to hook up with. Thats not reality. The real people
that need help are the butt ugly folks. All you have to do is drive a
truck up to a trailer park, back up to one, hook it up and then drive
around parking it next to other ones and yell from the aluminum door 'Do
ya'll wanna sit on my lap?' or 'Can I touch your coochie?' until you find
a match. I would watch that show.
