|
||||
| Home | About | Archives | Contact | Links |
|
In other words we're cooking right? Is that what you're trying to say? Well I figured it's probably time to update the homepage design a little and decided why not just replace the whole blog with funny videos, odd news, adult links and stuff. Seeing how this webite has been online since 1843 and revolutionized the entire internet then yeah it's time for an upgrade. Seriously though, I think this is the first major change in maybe 5 or 6 years. Oh No You Di-int Well crap I almost forgot that I even had a blog and that there's this one guy out there who reads it. Sorry one guy, I do this to you every month. Wonder if the ladies read this? For some reason I just assumed it was a guy, so if the one reader is a girl I'm sorry if I offended you one girl. You don't mind if I call you "one girl" do you? I have a contact form if you wanna chat, but if you're a dude then just keep reading and I'll make sure to apologize again next month cause you know I won't update this thing regularly. Umm, seems like there was something else I was gonna say. Oh, a friend asked
me to make some graphics for his magazine, I don't know how to make graphics but
I acted like I did and they came out looking like pure crap just like I figured.
I got my name in there though so I guess I can add "Published Graphics Artist"
to my resume now. Maybe I should have hidden some boobs in the pictures, that
would have been fun. Too bad I didn't get paid for it. How much you wanna bet
he doesn't ask me to make anymore? You get what you pay for FOOL. Here some more of those strange facts that everyone can't wait for
each month. The first St. Patrick's Day Parade took place in the US and not in Ireland. River Phoenix's real name is River Bottom and his family changed their name to signify a new chapter in there life. His sister is named Rain and actor brother Joaquin changed his name to Leaf when he was 4 but changed back later in life. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. It should take you about 2.5 seconds to read this sentence. If the population of China walked past you, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. The average American drives their vehicle twice the distance of average European each year. The German submarine U-1206 was ultimately sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet. Many of the technological advances we have today were first invented for use in war. Approximately 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. According to research, 29% of Americans are virgins when they marry.
Hoe, Hoe, Hoe This holiday weekend why not have a little fun with your faminly, or better yet, make fun of your family. Fun Facts and stuff of this nature The technical term for dry humping is called Frotteurism http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Frotteurism Another word for masturbation is she-bop http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=she-bop Recent studies show that alcoholic drinks mixed with artificial sweeteners almost double the amount of intoxication. Since 2001, the U.S. State Department estimates that up to 130 million women worldwide have undergone genital mutilation, mostly to deny them sexual pleasure. A person standing too close to a space shuttle taking off will die not from the fire or heat from the exhaust but will die from the extreme sound coming from the engines. According to medical research, cracking your knuckles is not bad for you and may actually help lower your risk of having arthritis. Nearly 40,000 illegal Chinese immigrants have come to the US and were forced to return, but China will not allow their own citizens back into their country because they left in the first place. There is a statistic that shows 80 percent of Internet music download traffic is illegal and 20 percent legal. For babies born in 2006, they will each require 45,000 pounds of metal throughtout their life to sustain their quality of life. About 1 out of every 2000 babies are born with some form of both sexes. In Hindu mythology additional limbs (arms, legs, fingers, toes) and heads are considered a sign of power. Ancient statues of Artemis sometimes display her with up to a couple dozen boobs. That's my kind of lady! Did you know that there are 1386 hairs on every male nutsack? Just joking, I made that up.
Headbutt, apply directly to the forehead | Headbutt, apply directly to the forehead Oh man long time no see. Absence make the heart grow fonder. Do you like me more now? I like you more. You know, I don't mind conversing with people in emails who have broken English
but calling tech support and trying to explain a complicated problem to someone
you know doesn't understand a word you're saying is just wrong.
As Seen on TV I've been reading thru the history of porn and it's quite interesting. I guess it's not surprising that people love the boobies though, it's just human nature. Speaking of porn, and since there is none in this post, here's some sites you
may be interested in.
UK Big Brother girl Princess aka Aisleyne has some pictures.
Looking Back In Front Of Me Hey look I updated! Just thought I would post some random thoughts and stuff, so it's nothing special. I suppose everyone under the sun has heard about the cartoon controversy. I never thought cartoons would be top news but hey whatever. Have you noticed that it's not big news that the middle eastern papers show anti-western/jewish/christian cartoons? I guess it shows that we live in two different worlds. The response to the Danish cartoon is kind of like saying... if you don't stop staying we are violent we're going to hurt you. Doesn't really make much sense.
Wanna see pictures of my puppies? Here ya go.
...And You Don't Stop It's really been forever since the last update here cause I've been too busy lately and can't seem to find the time. Actually that last part is not true, I'm sure I could find the time but I just can find a reason. Hey at least I'm being honest.
Here's some satellite photos of Hurricane Katrina's wrath. I saved you the
time and found some points of interest.
I found a few more strange facts if anyone is interested. 685 people commit suicide in China everyday, and 2.5 to 3.5 million more are unsuccessful each year. 40% of all fatalities from car wrecks in Japan involve pedestrians. In the US it's only 13%. Bic has sold on average 57 pens per second since 1957. Albert Einstein's parents were cousins and he married one of his cousins. Former
NY mayor Rudolf Giuliani was briefly married to his cousin also. California experiences about 30,000 earthquakes per year. 40% of French men said they would not mind being pregnant. Men in the US say ...no thanks. 1 in 7 North Americans have tattoo's, or about 44 million.
Ugh, insert clever title here Here's my new motto...
Some more facts I found interesting. In the 60 year history of the United Nations existence there have been between 150 and 200 wars. Only 2 of those wars have been approved. Oysters may change their gender several times during their lifetime. Clown fish are all born male and can change their gender if needed to reproduce. Male ejaculate is ejected at about 28mph. Boys who have unusual first names are more likely to have mental problems than boys with conventional names. Some also say they will be more successful because of their unusual name also. A mixed drink containing a carbonated beverage is absorbed into the body more quickly than are straight shots. Getting drunk would depend on the amount of actual alcohol consumed. The Spanish word "esposa" translates to both "handcuff" and "wife". How ironic. According to the Finnish edition of Guinness Book of Records the longest acceptable Finnish word is "lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas", which has 61 letters and translates basically to "technical warrant officer trainee specialized in aircraft jet engines." The dictionary says "fagot" or "faggot" means A bundle of twigs, sticks, or branches bound together. til next time...
Just the facts yo I won't bore you with some dumb story this time. So here's some more strange facts that I found in the news and tv recently that made me go hmmm... People fart about 10 times per day on average, which is about 3.5 pints of methane gas During Roman times, mouthwash was made from urine because of its bacteria killing ammonia properties 20% of NBA basketball players are overweight and 4% are obese. More people die in the US from being underweight than from being overweight. Also, several European countries have higher obesity rates than the US. About 130 million Americans take prescription medicines each month, and over 125,000 die from drug interations and mistakes each year making pharmaceuticals the fourth-leading national cause of death. 3.5 billion prescriptions are prescribed each year in the US. More sheep are milked than any other animal in the world. Since 1937, 350 US flags per day have been erected on top of the White House and are then sold to the public. There are over 200,000 female truck drivers in the US Every year Americans ride 28 million miles on roller coasters. The South Pole only gets about 6 inches of snow per year and it rarely snows
in other parts of the Antartica.
Better Late Than Never... right?
Here's a bunch of international facts that were emailed to me New Zealand has the world's only flightless parrot (the One quarter of the Netherlands is below sea level. With only 0.008 % of the world's area, the Netherlands On average, the Dutch are the tallest people in Although Amsterdam is the capital of the Netherlands, There are twice as many bikes as cars in the About half of the Netherlands land mass lies below sea The islanders of Tanna, one of the islands in Vanuatu The Duke uses an LPG-powered taxi cab around London to New Zealand has the highest number of golf couses (1/10000), Scottish New Zealand's National Day is almost the exact opposite of that in the USA,
it is Waitangi Many of the very rascist of white South Africans admire Australia for it's oppression Australian Aboriginals, who were classed under "Flora and Fauna" until the 1970's. The Rastafarian word for "oppression" is "downpression" because Jamaicans pronounce "up" as "op". Marrying a cousin is legal in 26 states in the USA. The highest methane National MP Shane Ardern, drove his tractor up the In the 1980's sheep in New Zealand out numbered humans The Northland,NZ town of Kawakawa was proclaimed by an New Zealand has the highest incidence of Melanoma (skin cancer) in the world.
Skin The USA contributes 1/3 of all ozone depleting pollution. Everything bad that Germany has been blamed for can usually be attributed to
The NAAWP shares a post box with the KKK. New Zealand was the first (supposedly) It was probably a New Zealander, Richard Auckland has the largest number of boats per head of William Hamilton, a Canterbury Baron Ernest Rutherford, a New Zealander, was the New Zealand is the first country in the world to see each new day. Curio Bay in Southland is one of the world’s most extensive and least
disturbed The vineyards of Central Otago, New Zealand, are the southern most Nelson was the first city in the world to A New Zealander invented the tear back velcro-strip, A New Zealand archbishop’s son invented the totaliser machine used for racing and sports betting. Iceland has a murder rate less than 1 per year, but one of the highest incidences
of car
Driven by boredom
No More Late Fees?
A few random questions almost worth asking Why is a slim chance not the opposite of a fat chance? Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How do you get off a non-stop flight? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? I saw a sign that said "seeing eye dogs only" who is supposed to read this? the dog? Why do men have nipples? Why do people point at their wrists when they ask what time it is? I know where my watch is! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? Those were so cheesy.
A new start for old habits Normally when a new year roles around my only complaint is that I've got to remember to write the new year on checks, but who even writes checks anymore? We are the plastic generation and more than half the time you don't even have to sign your name on the CC receipts. Just the other day I had to write something and realized that I haven't written anything of length in years because everything is done on computers or electronic transactions. I can't even read my own handwriting anymore.
Christmas was fun. I bought myself a 10k rpm raptor hard drive and 1gb rdram, merry christmas to me. I guess I'm an official computer geek now. A few quick facts 2700 times a year, surgical tools are left inside patients by accident In America 82% of people are christian, 13% are non religious and 5% are other religions In the US we eat an average of 6 pounds of potato chips per person per year The US 100 dollar bill lasts about 9 years, the 20 dollar bill about 4 years and the 1 dollar bill only lasts about 18 months before they are taken out of circulation Elvis Pressley's first guitar was bought for him at age 11 in Tupelo, Mississippi for $7.75. Today it is valued at over 1 million dollars. Lobsters are basically large bugs and are considered by some to be immortal because as they get older they just grow larger and never degenerate. Sneezing and farting at the same time hurts, trust me I know cause I just did
it. Ouch.
Nothing else to write about so... I found this site called f*ckthesouth that preys on gullible people in the northern US. It's actually kinda amusing, but it's inaccurate and not entirely true. So here's a rebuttal to it, thenorthsucks, which is not supposed to be funny like the other, it's just the facts and they may be shocking to some. That's all I've got today, but hey at least it's something.
For the viewer in you Thanksgiving was fun. My brothers wife took a nap and fell dead weight from the bed onto the floor. This was off of a very high bed too. It shook the floor and we thought it was an explosion outside or something, as we were heading to the door we found her getting up off the floor, hilarity ensued. Oh the laughter.
C-span showed boobs the other night (link) while they were talking about obscene video games and showed unpixelated clips from "the guy game" and "leisure suit larry". If they're worried so much about the content of these games, why are they showing it on tv? I bet a lot of people didn't even know about those games and the boobies in them until c-span broadcasted it over national tv. There are no strange fact in this update because 1) I'm lazy, and 2) I've been
working hard, and it's hard work, working weekends, and it's hard work, cause
I've been working hard.
I'm so hip, I can barely see over my pelvis
Here's a few more of those strange facts: A poll found that 13% of people believe the moon is made of cheese. Actually though, the seismic velocity of the moons "rock" is much closer to cheese than any rock found on earth. The word "dude" most likely came from the word "dud" meaning a delicate weakling and was in circulation in the 19th century. Female versions of the word dude would be dudette, dudess, and dudine, but none of these are used today. More that 60% of people believe in love at first sight, and 58% of those have fallen in love with someone within sixty minutes of meeting them. Table knives have a round tip because King Louis XIV banned sharp knives to try and curb murders. 15%-20% of products in China are counterfiet. Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri. The average beer consumption in the Czech Republic is about 42 gallons per year per person. In the US we drink about 21 gallons per year per person and Canada at about 19 gallons. The only reason some tequilas have a worm (butteryfly catapiller) in it, is because of a marketing ploy by a company who was trying to increase their sales. The distilled spirit with the least impurites is Skyy vodka because of their triple filtration.The fewer impurities means the less hangover you'll have. All distilled spirits are clear to start with and the color and flavor are added during the aging process, mostly from the wood barrels. The Hostess company can make up to 55,000 twinkies per hour. Sitcom is short for situation comedy. It costs about 2.5 cents to make a $1 or a $100 US bill. The safest form of transportation is actually elevators. It is illegal in the US to come in contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles. Try to say this a few times fast, "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick"
My permission slip
Maybe next time I'll have something for your viewing pleasure. Then again,
don't count on it because when have I ever come through before?
Toss your own salad As you can see, I took a little break from updating this site. It's really hard to get back in the swing of things too. Who cares though right? All that matter is that I'm updating now. Here's the plan, I'll mention a few random and/or personal stuff that no one reads or even cares about and then I'll post a few of those strange facts that everyone keeps emailing about. Works for me. I've acquired this strange habit lately. Whenever I'm around a friend or relative
and they leave,
Strange and Useless facts The word "crapper" used as slang for a toilet, comes from Thomas Crapper who had his name printed on the front of early toilets. A lot of Japanese and Chinese foods at the grocery story say "no msg" (monosodium glutamate) on the package, people think it can make you sick such as "Chinese restaurant syndrome", but just about everything else at the grocery store has msg in it. 83 cars are destroyed every minute throughout the world. They used to say that you should keep your toothbrush at least 6 feet away from the toilet because flushing may project small amounts of fecal matter into the air and get on your toothbrush. Actually though, trace amounts of feces can be found on just about everything inside your home. The average number of people killed each year by sharks...10 Amish bibles are written in German. Portions of the German Autobahn have no speed limit and there are actually less fatalites than the same amount of drivers on US Interstates. It is illegal to run out of gas on the autobahn. The concrete used on the autobahn is 27 inches deep. US interstates are only 11 inches and are designed to last about 20 years. In an emergency, the liquid inside a young coconut can be used as a substitute for blood plasma. It was done during World War II when blood supplies were low. In 1987, American Airlines saved $40,000 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. The names of the continents end with the same letter they start with. The US Post Office handles 40% of the world's mail. Its nearest competitor is Japan with 5%. If everyone in the US mailed their taxes in, the US post office would make about 100 million dollars just from the stamps. Hey look, we got some fansigns from seejulie.com Quote of the week:
Sick as a dog This was the worst weekend ever, I had to go to the emergency room around 3am
because of possible food poisoning. I've never been so sick in my life. I lost
a lot of blood from intestinal bleeding and had extreme cramps for about 2 days
or so, along with all the other nasty things that come with food poisoning too.
Once they figure out what type of illness it was I may be able to figure out what
food gave it to me and probably which restuarant it was so I can go back and slap
them around a bit. I'm gonna go back to bed now.
Retnuh's Believe It or Not! The average age of the Beastie Boys is 39. Jennifer Love Hewitt's name can be rearanged to spell Jewel Thief Inventor. The "London Bridge" which was built in 1831 was torn down piece by piece and flown to Lake Havasu, Arizona where it was reconstructed in 1971 and used as a tourist attraction. French toast is not from France. It was invented by Joseph French in New York. There are an estimated 750 million guns in the world, one third of them are in the US. When tornadoes are about to die down, they make a left turn. A record 4.7 million Internet domains were sold in the first three months of 2004, bringing the total number of registered addresses to a new high of 62.9 million. The winds on Saturn can reach up to 1000 mph, and over 1000 mph on Neptune. Each second there are 50 to 100 Cloud-to-Ground Lightning Strikes to the Earth world-wide. Years ago in Columbia, they used to chew coca leaves and when the effects wore off they would chew another one, they measured distance by how many leaves it took to get there. ie, how far away is the next town?... mmm 6 leaves. In the US, if you have alcohol that you're not going to drink and sell it to a friend just to get rid of it, that is a punishable crime by law for selling alcohol without a license. In some countries, the punishment for driving under the influence (DUI) is death, but in Uraguay drinking and driving is a legal excuse for having an accident while driving. People who drink alcohol in moderation tend to be healthier and live longer than those who either abstain or abuse alcohol. If you don't drink alcohol, you raise the risk of heart disease, but many of the health benefits of alcohol are lost if you don't drink it regularly. Only 30% of Americans believe that moderate drinking is part of a healthy lifestyle and balance life, even though they know medical reports show otherwise. Contrary to common misperception, alcohol does not destroy brain cells. In fact, the moderate consumption of alcohol is often associated with improved cognitive functioning. If you drink too much you'll have what?... a hangover. Here's what they call it in other countries, the French call it "wood mouth," Germans refer to it as "wailing of the cats," Italians call it "out of tune," Norwegians identify it as "carpenters in the head," Spaniards call it "backlash," Swedes refer to it as "pain in the hair roots," and most everyone else who speaks English just calls it a hangover. In Welsh, the word for beer is "cwrw." It's pronounced koo-roo. Sixty-two percent of Americans report that they have used the service of a designated driver, have you? Beer was not sold in bottles until 1850 and was not sold in cans until 1935. A raisin dropped into a glass of champagne will repeatedly bounce up and down between the top and the bottom of the glass. Have you ever popped a cork on a wine bottle? The longest recorded flight was 177' 9". Methyphobia is fear of alcohol. When you drink alcohol, your body temperature rises right? Wrong, the alcohol causes your capillaries to fill with warm blood. This makes you think your temperature is rising but the alcohol actually makes your temperature drop. If you have some strange facts that can be verified somehow let me know here.
42% of all statistics are worthless More Strange Factoids (most of these were submitted, thanks!) In the US, we use 192,000,000 gallons of gas per day. For every 1 cent increase in gas prices, the airling industry pays an extra $180,000,000 per year. For the first time in 12 years, a ban on gum has been lifted by authorities in Singapore. But people who want to buy a pack have to submit their names and identification card numbers. Italian pizza restaurants have to make thier pizza according to the law now. bookkeeper is the only word with 3 sets of double letters in a row. Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating. Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult. One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year! Saturns are the most stolen car now. The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye. Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia. The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men with their hands on each other's shoulders. A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface. A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood. It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls which are phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United States. It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times. Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill. Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada. When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second. A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel. A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile. Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969. In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes. There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo. Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane as a precaution. Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second. The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card. There are no visible clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants. Umm...you drive on a parkway, park on a driveway and go straight on a turnpike If you have any strange facts you'd like to share, contact me here.
Definitely Maybe
More hangover research:
Some more strange facts: The average US one dollar bill only lasts about 2 years before it wears out. There are 28,000 bills of all denominations destroyed each day and 38,000 bills are created each day to keep up. 30% of methane in the atmosphere is created from cow farts. "a man a plan a canal panama" read backwards is "a man a plan a canal panama", the same is for "racecar", "kayak", and "radar". "Stewardesses" is the longest word you can type with your left hand only, and "typewriter" is the longest word from one row of keys. Men in the U.S. who drink alcohol receive about 7% higher wages than do abstainers, according to data from the national Household Survey on Drug Abuse (United States Department of Health and Human Services). Women who drink receive about three and one-half percent higher wages than do abstainers. They also found that the more educated people are, the more likely they are to drink.
Summer time, and the living's easy
Strange Facts, Random extremely useful info,
Rabbit go poo
The one with no title I heard something funny the other day about the people complaining of the nipple slip at the super bowl. These parents are asking how are they supposed to explain to their children what happened and how to cope with it. The funny part is that during the super bowl, there were commercials for erectile disfunction and how to get a 4 hour erection, but no one is saying anything about that. It's funny how it works huh. I think it would be more difficult to explain why you need a boner for 4 hours, but that's just me.
It's time for show and tell. Hi, my name is Hunter, and I brought some links
to show you. Here's a couple of strange facts:
Spam, it still doesn't taste right I'm almost to the point of waging an all out war on spammers. I mean come on
people this is getting ridiculous now. No matter how many times or ways I block
the work 'viagra' they always add an extra dash or dot or something in there so
it will reach my inbox. Take a hint, I don't want viagra, and if I did I would
call the number on the commercials for it that I see on TV about 200 times a day.
I think the 'I'm going to piss you off until you buy something' approach is not
going to work. Spam is kinda like those little 3x5 flyer ads in magazines, everytime you open up a magazine they fall out on the floor or when you flip thru the pages all you can flip to is the page where it's attached. I don't even like the 2 or 3 that are in magazines now, but if they had 500 of them in each one, nobody would read magazines anymore. That's what spam is doing to email. Sometimes I don't even want to check my email cause I know it's just gonna be full of spam, if it's not spam then it's viruses. Check your computer for viruses please to help keep it from becoming an email server, go to the security page and read up and click on the links. Enough of the ranting, let's move on. Spring has sprung, well at least it feels like it. I didn't even get to see any snow this winter, I was kinda looking forward to it too, but never happened. I figure that if we've gotta go through the miserable cold weather that there's no real purpose for, it might as well be snowing. Some links to click on...
Dumb Sex Laws These are all strange laws having something to do with sex or some kind of sexual nature that were found at dumblaws.com. I'm pretty sure that most of them are hundreds of years old and were just never repealed, but they're still in the law books and you could possibly be arrested for them. Alabama Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Florida Georgia Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kentucky Louisiana Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Jersey New Mexico Ney York North Carolina Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania South Carolina Tennessee Texas Utah Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin
I never finish an update, I just stop working on it Do you remember the movie The Truman Show with Jim Carrey where his whole life
was a scripted TV show and he played the star role without even knowing it? Sometimes
I feel like the same thing is happening to me. What originally made me think about
it was just like a situation in the movie, at any point throughout the day I knew
exactly where a car was going to be and what it was going to do, because it happened
every single day, like clockwork, whenever I was there the same thing would happen.
Surely it can't be true, but I knew that things were going to happen before it
actully happened. I would stop, wait for it, and then after it happened I would
shake my head and say...every day, every single freakin' day. Maybe I've gone
off the deep end, but I swear it's really strange. Perhaps I should be on medication. I guess everyone watched the super bowl, it turned out to be a really good game during the second half. Lots of people just watch it for the commercials and/or half time show. I think the commercials have sucked for years now, and the half time show only has songs that are about 5 years old with musicians who haven't had a hit song in forever. The end of the half time show is apparently some big deal because of Janet Jackson's partially exposed breast that didn't even show anything and was only on the screen for like a half a second. Less than an hour after the game was over, the local tv station here had already set up a complaint hotline and gave out cbs's email so you can complain. We still live in "leave it to beaver" land with these prudes running rampant. Some stuff to click on:
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
© 2001-2012 retnuh.com , disclaimer
- 2257
The site is best viewed with Firefox 1024x768
Ok enough rambling,
or maybe not. Umm I really had more stuff to post but I'm so high on coffee right
now my body is starting to shake. Oh, I took a few 
Finally
updated! I wish I had someone to help out with the updates from time to time,
but it's still just me behind the words as always (except for the facts in this
update). I had a fortune cookie the other day that I liked and taped it to my
desk right in front so I always see it , it says "Idleness is the holiday
of fools". I look at it every day and it reminds me to do something productive,
so here I am because a cookie told me to and I believe everything cookies tell
me. It probably would have worked the same if it just said "Get off your
lazy ass you fool".
Baywatch
was voted the worst-ever U.S. television import in a British survey (
Nothing
ever happens around here anymore so there's never anything to update. I did have
a dream last night where I received 17,000 spam emails in a short amount of time
and had to go through all of them to see if there were any real emails in there.
I would consider that a nightmare. I woke up this morning and thought it really
happened and checked my email to just in case. I have alot of dreams about computers
and the internet. I guess I spend too much time sitting here on the computer,
it never gets old though. Even though the shock value of most of the crazy stuff
on the internet has worn off, there's always something new to see or read (except
on this site). Sometimes I even find myself using computer and internet terms
in real life, like reboot, cache, ram, format, bandwidth, database. I think I
need a hobby.
We did have
a tornado the other day, that was kinda exciting. I think they ruled it a funnel
cloud but it's still a tornado in my book. It was about a mile from my house and
I took some pictures of where it was supposed to be and as it developed and moved.
It never really looked like the tornados you see on tv but there were trees in
my way. These pictures are in order from beginning of it to end.
I
have an excuse for not updating this time. I'm sure everyone else already has
but, I never had my bottom wisdom teeth removed because the dentist said they
were ok and would be fine leaving them in. Well, a few weeks ago one of them became
infected and was hurting very badly but because of my hatred (read: fear) for
the dentist I thought the pain would go away in a few days and I'd be ok...I was
wrong. I couldn't eat or sleep and was waiting for monday to get here so I could
finally break down and go to the dentist, as luck would have it monday was a holiday.
After it was pulled it still hurt like a mofo, I was on 5 different prescription
pain medications and barely knew who I was for a couple of weeks. I've already
been to dentist 4 times for this in 3 weeks and have at least 2 more trips to
go. I just don't like people putting sharp objects in my mouth, the key is to
be heavily medicated before you go and then you wouldn't care if they took a shotgun
and shot the tooth out. Anyway, that's my excuse.
I was
the best man in my brothers wedding last weekend. It wasn't so bad, except that
I was at the church for 14 hours...it felt like a lifetime. After the wedding
was over, the preacher was going over the legal papers to sign to make it official
and couldn't find where the groom was supposed to sign it. He said it must have
changed, they still needed me to sign it as a witness to the wedding, so I signed
it but my brother never did. I got to thinking later....I hope I'm not married
now! I didn't even look where I was signing and they could have mixed it up and
I got married instead of him. That would be funny though, if a couple years down
the road it comes out that I'm married to his wife. hehe. Then if I get married
for real, I would have 2 wives. I'd have to become a mormon or something and start
wearing a robe and smoke a pipe. I'd need some paisley wallpaper, shag carpet,
and some sex toys on the wall. I might need to have my own theme song too, da
dow chica chica da dow. It could be interesting.
Warm weather
is great, makes you feel like a whole new person. Makes me want to get outside
and do something like...walk to the mailbox... or just stand there in the sun
for like 45 seconds and get sunburned. This is gonna be one great summer.
There's
only one bad thing about warm weather though and I'm terrified of it...wasps.
I think its from a bad childhood experience when I was stung about 20 time on
my face. These flying insects are organized evil pain inflicting machines that
are all out to get me. Nothing else bother me at all, snakes, spiders, even bee's,
but wasps are intelligent and know what they're doing, like planning their war
strategy by having lookout posts so they can alert the others when you're approaching
and perform warning fly-by's to deter you from their battle stations, if that
doesn't work they'll send out the stingers to inject you with their small yet
very potent venom. If you kill one, they'll expel a pheromone odor distress beacon
that will alert the others to attack you. These damned things are evil I tell
you, evil. They can smell fear too, I can be one of several people around and
they'll go directly for me only. They always get in my house and set up shop in
the bathroom, I may have to start peeing out the window. These terrorist must
be stopped, red team go, red team go.
I almost
forgot...it's Easter. This is the holiday where the large rabbit poops out candy
coated eggs and for some unknown reason hides them, then you have to find the
eggs and place them in your basket. Who ever finds the most eggs wins. What do
you win? Don't ask stupid questions, it doesn't matter, but you still have to
try as hard as you can to find the most. The best method is to follow around your
competition and steal them out of their basket when they're not looking and then
proclaim yourself victor. The warm and tingly feeling you get from finding the
most eggs that the large rabbit hid from you is really what this holiday is all
about.
I think I've
found a cure for hangovers. Well maybe not a total cure, but at least a hangover
helper. Before you go to sleep and first thing in the morning, make a drink containing
instant gatorade mix, BC powder asprin, 
It finally
turns warm outside and what happens? I catch a cold, figures. I've been sick for
a week, it sucks. How can they charge $45 for 7 pills? That's $6.43 per pill.
Someone needs to regulate the price of medicine. I wouldn't mind paying it if
I was about to die but I bet that I'd be well in 7 days anyway. The rich get richer
and the poor get poorer.
