August / September Archives

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August / September Archives

Weirdo

Who let the dogs out? What the song was really about.
Save Jen. She is in such a bad place. WTF?
Dumb Warnings: Electronics.
Suicide Super Puppy Game, my highest score is 1685, beat that!
Beat Anna K. at tennis and see her naked!
Some dude in a skirt, freak.
You can actually turn this guys lights on and off in his home in real time and see it. Cool.

This is a conversation I had the other day with some weirdo.
SomeFreak : i run over oranges on lonely florida highways
SomeFreak : and make movies of their pain
SomeFreak : cheap home movies
SomeFreak : with grainy film to capture the drama
SomeFreak : i sell them to Kool-Aid companies
SomeFreak : and I have a turtle named Frog. And that's my life.
SomeFreak : are u un-bored yet?
Me : is that a song or something
SomeFreak : no
Me : pretty nice
SomeFreak : im trying to get you to talk
SomeFreak : cuz u just seem so bored, man
SomeFreak : ah well perhaps that is too lofty a goal
SomeFreak : ask me a question or answer my stuffed moosehead question
Me : what was the moosehead one again
SomeFreak : stuffed mooseheads... good or bad idea? explain why.
Me : they're too big, unless you have a large room to put it in
SomeFreak : true
SomeFreak : quite true
SomeFreak : okay ur turn
Me : should vegetarians eat animal crackers
SomeFreak : it depends on if they are animal crackers shaped like Venusian fly-traps
Me : i havent seen any of those before
Me : might be nice
SomeFreak : they eat vegitarieans
Me: would a fly without wings be called a walk?
SomeFreak : no more than a fish without fins would be called a bob
Me : so true
SomeFreak : it is, i know
SomeFreak : hm.
Me : is it your turn
SomeFreak : if you were stranded on a deserted island with only an armadillo, what would u do with it?
Me : i would teach it to play basketball with coconuts
SomeFreak : which would require time, but okay
SomeFreak : ur turn
Me : if you had to choose between losing both legs or both arms, which would it be
SomeFreak : thats a hard one
SomeFreak : legs
SomeFreak : but it would suck
Me : i think about that one from time to time
SomeFreak : why
Me : i have no idea, its not like that would really happen
SomeFreak : u never know
Me : if i still had my arms i could at least wack off

Speaking of wacking off, here's some porn for ya.

And a couple of plugs...Anotersite2ya and Tansluts
-Hunter Sept 22

Never Forget

I swear, I haven't even thought about this site in days...for the first time ever. So much has been going on lately that this site had to go on the back burner for a few. This means shitty update time. I was thinking about a face lift for this place cause this layout is getting old (i guess), maybe some lipo here and there and added enhancements where needed. I don't want to speak to soon though.

I know this is a little late but this is my tribute to the remembrance of September The Eleventh. My version of the National Anthem. I couldn't play it the way I wanted because of the 60 second time limit and I had to cut it short just a bit, but you get the idea. I may forgive but I will never forget.

On a lighter note, the other day I thought I was about to get it on with a MILF. I was working at this ladies house who was in the process of moving and her family (including her husband) were already at their new house out of town and had been gone for a few weeks while she stayed behind to help sell the house. She was making conversation with me and she said something about how big and powerful my equipment was. I thought it was sorta funny (in a Beavis and Butthead kinda way) and just looked at her. She was looking at me all weird and said how she is paying me to fulfill her needs. I'm thinking oh yeah, gonna hit a milf. But then I remembered that she is friends with my grandma and how she is a Super Christian and I just couldn't do anything. It would be too weird, how would I live with myself.

Did you notice that out of my 2 last updates 3 of the sites I linked got shut down? We overloaded them...hehe. 2 of them are back but MentalErnie (he's back now) is still out of commission. You guys are bad. It wasn't me, don't point your finger foo. Well, maybe they had some other site problems but damn it's strange how the first 2 sites I linked last post went down. I thought I did something wrong or something.
-Hunter Sept 15

Niches And Bitches

This site hasn't found its niche yet, hasn't fallen into that groove where you always know what is going to be here. Sometimes its recent news or personal stories or just whatever pops into my head at the time,. This site needs consistency. Of the few sites I do visit an example of a consistent site is MentalErnie because you always know that he is going to have a nice short story and a few pics, and you look forward to it, at least I do. Maybe I should try that. Or is that what you look for in the sites you visit? I dunno, I just open this crap up and start typing and whatever comes out is the update. Simple huh. But once it becomes a chore its time to quit. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. So on with the crapola.

Did you know that there are dildo's for children now? Yeah, it vibrates and they put it between their legs. Sounds kinda sick huh.

This kinda pissed me off. But they just make stuff up.

This submarine thingy is cool, as long as you don't get lost.

Oh, you wanna hear something I thought was funny. I got this letter in the mail the other day that was sent certified mail from one of my cousins. I haven't seen her in years, actually I haven't seen that whole side of my family in years. The letter was some big 4 page sob story about how my brother and I need to get our act together and be a part of the family and go to family functions or something. I was laughing the whole time I was reading it. It was great. So I wrote a long in your face type letter. I haven't sent it yet, I'm still getting ideas on what to add to it. It may sound bad to you but they weren't a part of my life while I was growing up so why should I be a part of theirs now. There, that was my personal news for today.
-Hunter September 3

West Nile Bile

I'm in the process of suing the West Nile. Can that be done? I mean, shouldn't a virus call the West Nile virus be in...umm the West Nile or something and not in the U.S.? It's kinda like the Lou Gehrigs disease. If your name is Lou Gehrig you're probably gonna get sick and die. Like duh.

So now we have to wear sunscreen and mosquito repellant whenever we go outside. Just wrap us up in body bags already. It seems like I'm leaving out a dozen or so other outdoor hazard creams, and they all smell so nice don't they.

Now when I look around, everyone is all pale from lack of sun, they look sickly. It seems that people are either pasty white or bronzer orange these days. What is it coming to? Why don't they just make all the repellants and creams into a drink or pill and we can just chug it down once a week and be done with it.

Conclusion: Mosquitoes are now turning to terrorism. Be aware. The sun and mosquitoes are closing in on you. What do you do, where do you go, can we hide? red team go, red team go.

Here are a few plugs I've forgotten to post, sorry
{AngryFucks} {MindOrgy} {Rigz} {AmberJam}

-Hunter August 29

Don't Get Mad, Get Even

Here are a few ways of getting revenge on a friend, family member or roommate that only you will know about. This way you can't get caught if they don't know anything happened. Then you can just sit back knowing that you got the ultimate revenge.

1. When in the subjects bathroom, preferably the shower, leave a hefty portion of your man milk in his or her shampoo or conditioner.
2. Dump a bunch of cigarette ashes in his or her pepper shaker.
3. Some piss in their hairspray might do the trick.
4. Drop a dingle berry (this is the little piece of dookie about the size of a cranberry) into their load of laundry for that little hint of "what's that smell yo".
5. After taking a nice long dump, make sure to stir it up to chocolate milk with their toothbrush.
6. Finely ground some vitamin B complex pills and put it in their favorite drink and listen to them freak out about their neon yellow urine.
7. Hide some of their monthly bills and then mysteriously find them after the due date.
8. Write a letter to his or her parents and pretend to be them explaining that they are gay and that no one should ever talk about it. (only if the person is not really gay) (not that there is anything wrong with being gay).
9. Place a vulgar bumper sticker on their car. (i.e. how's my driving? call 1-800-eatshit).
10. Unplug a spark plug wire and place a wet cigarette butt into the end of it and replace the spark plug wire. Their car will run poorly and nobody will know why. Later you can remove it.

Hey, you want to check out some recent news? Go to a news site.
-Hunter August 22

Love Me Tender, Hate Me Raw

Aren't you sick and tired of hearing about Elvis over the past couple of weeks. I know I am. I live about an hour away from Memphis and for the past week every time I turn on the tv...you guessed it, Elvis. There is just something funny about seeing all those Japanese guys with sideburns dressed up in white jumpsuits saying thankyouverymuch and striking a pose. At least its over now. When I die, I hope people don't celebrate my death.

Here are some headlines from the past few days:

Man sentenced for having sex with a horse
A Gulfport Mississippi man is sentenced to 18 months for having sex with a horse. He said he was high on ecstasy while he was getting it on. The judge ordered him to avoid contact with the horse. He is now registered as a sex offender. Let all of your horses know to steer clear of this man. full story

MTV's Jackass star Steve-O surrenders to police
At a Louisiana nightclub Steve-O stapled his nutsack to his thigh and stapled women's panties to his chest. In between stunts volunteers would stand in line to get kicked in the nuts to see who could handle it. One guy was running into the kick when he hit his head and fell unconscious. The bond for Steve-O was set at $1.12 million for felony obscenity and principal to second degree batter charge, it was later reduced. If convicted he faces up to 8 years in prison. full story

Watching porn movies in your car is illegal
Four men were charged with obscenity violations after they were caught watching a porn flick in their Navigator with the hatchback up. One of the men charged said that the movie was "nothing freaky" and just a "little bit of gettin' it on". They face up to six months in jail. full story

Exhibitionism shizem
A man was caught taking pictures of a girl next to a police car with her skirt up. She told the policemen that the wind had blown it up and they let them go. A while afterwards the mayor was notified that the pictures were found on a public nudity website and the two were later arrested. The girls bond was set at $1,000 and the mans at $1,500....how is that? full story

I need more pictures for the "Things not to stick in your butt" section. It's getting hard to find good ones without them being to grotesque. If you find any send'em over. Oh, and click on the links around this site.
-Hunter August 17

Nuh Uh, For Real

Have you seen the previews for the movie fear dot com? At first I thought, cool a movie about people who die after clicking on pop ups and visiting a site, because that's what should happen to those people. But then I remembered that it was about computers and the internet and how Hollywood makes it so fake. In the movies a person can get on any computer and type 3 letters and instantly have complex 360° 3D images and hack into computers with one click. I bet they got the idea from that ladies voice you hear from time to time that says "My site is so hardcore I can't risk putting a link to it anywhere on the web, press the letter P now" blah blah. I bet I'll go see it though.

Saturday morning I wake up with a terrible hangover. Feeling just awful. Sitting around hoping it will wear off and then the phone rings. This guy asks for me and sounds all formal. He asks if I own a big blue Jeep and says that he is Deputy somebody from the Sheriffs department and he has several people reporting that I was out Friday night running over mailboxes in my Jeep. I'm thinking OH SHIT! Breakin' the law, Breakin' the law, big trouble. I was pretty drunk Friday night but I wasn't driving. I was silent, racking my brain trying to figure out what really must have happened the night before. Finally I said, mmmNo that wasn't me, and he says several people saw my jeep and they found it in my driveway. At this point I'm about to have a heart attack or an anxiety attack or something, I was scared shitless. Then he starts laughing, it was an old friend trying to scare me. I thought I was going to jail. He's got an ass whoopin' coming.

Since I have nothing better to say I'll tell you about something funny that happened to this lady . Her dad used to be some bigwig at GM and was friends with Hoffa or something, anyways he is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and has come to live with her now. She has just bought a new black Bravada and he wants to go to the grocery store to get food, he has only been to a few places in this town and he knows where the grocery store is. She lets him borrow her new SUV and he takes off. Several hours after he gets back she is about to leave and sees a white Tahoe in the garage and not hers. She asks him what happened and he says that he couldn't find any food there so he drove back home. She went to the grocery store and her car wasn't there, looked all over town and finally found it at the country club. The police had been looking for the stolen Tahoe all day. They explained what happened, switched cars and went home. No charges were filed. He will be put on a plane next week to go live in a retirement home in Florida.
-Hunter August 11

Updated!

It's been over a week since my last update. It's not because I don't want to, it's just that the stuff I'm about to put here is sorta stupid or is only one sentence long (not worthy). Maybe this site should be turned into one of those blogger sites that has a one line random comment every few hours...then again maybe not.

Listen up yall its a sabotage. My jeep is idling at 0 RPMs and nobody knows why. If I pay them good money to fix it and its not fixed.... I'm gettin' revenge. My old work truck is idling at 100 RPMs and runs like crap and now my lawnmower is all messed up. Something fishy is going on here. It's a conspiracy to keep me at home maybe so I will update more often. I'm keeping my eye on you.

I just looked up the word yall at dictionary.com and it wasn't there, but the next closest word is yawl and it means, "A two-masted fore-and-aft-rigged sailing vessel similar to the ketch but having a smaller jigger- or mizzenmast stepped abaft the rudder. Also called dandy". What is that? Sounds like ghetto slang to me. Here is my interpretation of the definition, "A two-masted fore-and-aft-rigged sailing vessel" could be translated into- A woman with large boobs that move about, "A ketch" might be a sexual maneuver popular in foreign countries, "A smaller jigger" could be saying that the maneuver may be performed if you have a tiny wang, "A mizzenmast" in lisp language means pissin' match and "stepped abaft the rudder" is similar to a cleveland steamer. Apparently this used to be called the Dandy, created by Jim. Did you get all that? Me either. On second thought, maybe it has something to do with a boat, I don't know.

I had some more stuff say but I forgot, then I thought I remembered but forgot that too. So I dunno, go check out these sites...BlindFly - ExtraMask weird huh.
-Hunter August 5